My ego keeps my ass in a sling.

The unhealthy ego can be assumed as a conditioned or false part of self therefore it is not who you are but what you have come to believe you are. (Not always very helpful.) And yet another not helpful, not true, ego tip: your ego is never wrong, and it is always somebody else’s fault.

Still ego is meant to be our window to the world around us–a neutral and extremely useful source of information about what’s happening.

Maybe it’s the dread of stepping forward, the suspicion of judgment, the angst of exposing imperfections or vulnerabilities.

Could it be the brokenness that started my addiction bubbling up?

The resurfacing, reinfecting shame, doubt, and the lies that ego fed to an addicted life – always winning by distraction, resistance, and shrinking over and over again every time risked by change?
I am no longer a food addict yet I have the well played ego. Stories roam the vacant lots of my old addicted brain looking for any reason to impound illegally parked confidence or new-found wisdom.

Better yet, success is a 10/4 to that ghost cop car stashed away under the overpass. “Pull over, ma’am, people might notice you’re being awesome today. Could you please slow down or better yet just stop?

Seeing that I have victoriously strong armed the wrestling match with addiction who could have predicted lurking behind all that I would have come to cheap shots and low blows with ego?

Nowadays I can see more clearly what was really going on.

Comparing my old negative ego brain with my new brain is like driving a Volkswagen compared to a Porsche.

Until I met my (soon to be) husband, I really didn’t know the real difference between my a practical economy car and his hot luxury sports car. I assumed luxury cars were driven by assholes, and normal cars were for kind folk, like me.

Right there disproving this made up theory was my super hot, loving future husband and his well polished sports car.

You see, ego told me the same thing about skinny people, rich people and smart people as it did about sports cars- those fancy ass ideals existed in a world I never understood and held deep resentment toward. By this I mean, I conditioned myself or let my ego drive the Volkswagen never allowing the Porche in me to truly shine through.

So what do we do with this bad relationship with ego in its negative functions, anyway?

Freud stated that we don’t really need to understand the ego. The Freudian definition of “ego” is simply “the most central part of the mind, which mediates with one’s surroundings.” All we need to do is watch as we repeat the same thinking, feeling, and behavior that repeatedly causes to good stuff or the suffering our life.

When we have a healthy ego it’s easier to move through life with a wide-open heart, healthy boundaries and a solid sense of self.

A healthy ego is essential for happiness, fulfillment, and resilience.

Make a conscious choice.

The point is that when you strip away the fear, the stories, and the judgments away from what’s happening in this moment, and simply notice it, you become free to choose your response.

That’s all! Create awareness, gain perspective and make a choice.

Using the Positive Healthy Ego to Set You Free.

We can all use some tools to get your ego working for you:

  1. Notice the negative ego. Awareness is key and certainly half the battle. Sneak up on your negative ego spinning tales around and look at what’s really happening.
  2. Focus on the truth. Ask yourself, “What if I let go of judgement? Is there a right/wrong? Does it have to be good/bad?”
  3. Use your positive ego on your negative ego. In the book “Loving What Is” Byron Katie suggests we ask “Can I absolutely know it is true?” For the most part we can not.
  4. Change takes courage. We can face reality with a positive ego and tell a new story that is different. Ultimately, it means living in a state of love — a lot more of the time.

A Truer Path to Self Acceptance

“The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.” ― Steven Pressfield

I believe that experiences like this are like mini “resurrections”; being scared to death give us opportunities to wake up to our own imperfections in our humanity and offers the preciousness of each choice. This realization let us recover with new awareness  into a stream of events that make up our –always changing life full of rebirths and deaths. And in seeing this universal state of the human condition, we can develop compassion for ourselves and for others.

Now I can use this lesson as a new-found super power.

So the keys to a fancy sports car with in yourself,  and can show you how to significantly enhance your overall life experience.

This is also helps learn new things, bring more things abundantly into our world, and…

… because
… you can learn how to be scared well.

… this is why, I believe, we all deserve to live a juicy life…

Fortunately, our worldview can change and that is what working with the Bright Line Eating Bootcamp creates for food addicts. The purpose of life being to come as close as possible to the realization of the divinity within us.

*this post contains affiliate links

As you likely know, I participate in Bright Line Eating because I wholeheartedly believe this training will help you achieve a successful body you love. However, if her program does not feel right for you, I completely understand!

 

Do  you  wonder if you are a food addict? Check out this quiz.

 

15 thoughts to “Your Ego is Afraid of the Truth

  • Gail

    Hi and thank you for this informative article. I love the fact that you are firstly making peace with your ego and then allowing yourself the freedom to make different, more positive choices about the thoughts you think. This is the key to happiness and success as everything starts with our thoughts. Many people maintain a negative attitude towards things and then wonder why their life seems to be held in a downward spiral. I love the fact that you have overcome your issues towards food, money and lifestyle. We should appreciate everything and the world will come to us.
    One question for you: how would you recommend people get in touch with their loving nature more of the time? One method I use is meditation which can help a lot. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. And have fun driving the sports car!

    Reply
    • admin

      Thank you Gail. You are incredible, I love your commitment to your meditation. I started a daily practice last spring and feel it has changed my life! I also find great connection to nature and spend time in the woods, by the beach and jumping in puddles with my dogs almost every day. Changing my food has opened me up to such greatness! It is good to be here, thank you again for sharing your thoughts. Much appreciated.

      Reply
  • jlclayton1

    Wow! Everything you said could’ve been something said about me several years ago. Our ego and what we think of ourselves affects every single part of our lives. I used to be so willing to see people who had more things than I had or better lives (I thought!) than I had as negative. But the fact is that once I started building myself up, I didn’t need to see others that way. It’s a powerful thing!

    Reply
    • admin

      So true!! With age comes wisdom for sure! I am so happy to know I am in good company! It is the trick we play on ourselves to stay broken, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned. There is so much to look forward to! Thank you for your comment. Much appreciated.

      Reply
  • Steve

    This is something I have been working on for a while now. I let my ego get the best of me a few years ago while I was lifting weights at the gym. Next thing you know I blew a disc in my back and it took me about 6 months to recover. I also tend to let me ego win, when I am driving on the freeway, which is NOT a good idea.

    Your article really made me stop and think about some of my behaviors. As I get older, I think it has become easier to keep my ego in check, but I also have life lessons to draw from. Some of my behaviors when I was younger, I never really attributed to my ego. I just thought I was right most of the time 🙂

    My ego has effected the way I view people, and treat them. As you mentioned, with your sport car analogy, etc. I appreciate you taking the time to write this, I can honestly say you made me stop and think, and that is a good thing.

    Reply
    • admin

      I love your comment Steve!! Thank you so much, I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty. (and the warning to keep my ego far away from the gym!!) 🙂

      Reply
  • Joseph

    This is very thought provoking! I would never had thought about ego in these terms. I think I might have to find a peaceful place and do some internal searching and thinking. I need to find my positive ego, my shiny sports car.

    Reply
    • admin

      Wow! What a great connection, thank you for sharing your experience. I hope the searching uncovers your brilliance and big heart! Much appreciation for such a powerful message. Let me know how it goes?

      Reply
  • brad

    Many times people let their ego get in the way of a prosperous and eventful life. Missing out on so much as they let their ego dictate their actions, I have seen this many times over. When you finally reach a certain point in your life, the ego check seems to diminish and the acceptance of one and all makes for a much more inclusive existence, and a better piece of mind for yourself.

    Reply
    • admin

      Heck’ya!!! We are all here to make it the best possible way we can. I am flooded with happiness with your comment. It is ever impressive to find folks that are living in acceptance and forgiveness – we have so much to give each other! Thank you for your affirming comment Brad.

      Reply
  • Timotheus

    A very good and helpful article. So often we hear that the ego is bad. It actually is just simply a part of us. So does that make us bad? No. Instead, we should learn to work with the ego.

    I especially love the part about Using the Positive Healthy Ego to Set You Free. Love the steps you offered to achieve that. Very very helpful.

    Once again, thank you. 🙂

    Reply
    • admin

      Thank you for this great insight Timotheus. So true, we can use the ego to create healthy greatness! I believe we need this to be present to our authentic truth. I appreciate your comment about the list, it is so good to know what is helpful. Much gratitude.

      Reply
  • stefanie taylor

    Hi there, what a wonderful post! I am very spiritual myself and everything you said resounded with me 100%. Especially the part about the ego tricking you into thinking you don’t like others because you don’t understand them. We see this happening every day in the world as most people act out their conditioned thinking patterns.
    I started to see life differently when I started meditating a few years ago, I found that with practice I could go way beyond ego, and if I do catch myself thinking from the level of ego I recognise it instantly and chuckle to myself. Sometimes I think that this is the reason the buddha laughs as it makes me laugh ha ha. Thanks for sharing and I love your website.

    Reply
  • Rachel

    I love love love this post! I’m really looking forward to reading through your blog and getting to know your journey a little bit more. Thank you for continuing to inspire me! 💕

    Reply
    • Kathleen Milligan

      You are a STAR Rachel. I am so thankful, it is people like YOU that inspire ME to want to keep going everyday!! We are in this world to make it better, together! 🙂

      Reply

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