My ego keeps my ass in a sling.
The unhealthy ego can be assumed as a conditioned or false part of self therefore it is not who you are but what you have come to believe you are. (Not always very helpful.) And yet another not helpful, not true, ego tip: your ego is never wrong, and it is always somebody else’s fault.
Still ego is meant to be our window to the world around us–a neutral and extremely useful source of information about what’s happening.
Maybe it’s the dread of stepping forward, the suspicion of judgment, the angst of exposing imperfections or vulnerabilities.
Could it be the brokenness that started my addiction bubbling up?
The resurfacing, reinfecting shame, doubt, and the lies that ego fed to an addicted life – always winning by distraction, resistance, and shrinking over and over again every time risked by change?
I am no longer a food addict yet I have the well played ego. Stories roam the vacant lots of my old addicted brain looking for any reason to impound illegally parked confidence or new-found wisdom.
Better yet, success is a 10/4 to that ghost cop car stashed away under the overpass. “Pull over, ma’am, people might notice you’re being awesome today. Could you please slow down or better yet just stop?”
Seeing that I have victoriously strong armed the wrestling match with addiction who could have predicted lurking behind all that I would have come to cheap shots and low blows with ego?
Nowadays I can see more clearly what was really going on.
Comparing my old negative ego brain with my new brain is like driving a Volkswagen compared to a Porsche.
Until I met my (soon to be) husband, I really didn’t know the real difference between my a practical economy car and his hot luxury sports car. I assumed luxury cars were driven by assholes, and normal cars were for kind folk, like me.
Right there disproving this made up theory was my super hot, loving future husband and his well polished sports car.
You see, ego told me the same thing about skinny people, rich people and smart people as it did about sports cars- those fancy ass ideals existed in a world I never understood and held deep resentment toward. By this I mean, I conditioned myself or let my ego drive the Volkswagen never allowing the Porche in me to truly shine through.
So what do we do with this bad relationship with ego in its negative functions, anyway?
Freud stated that we don’t really need to understand the ego. The Freudian definition of “ego” is simply “the most central part of the mind, which mediates with one’s surroundings.” All we need to do is watch as we repeat the same thinking, feeling, and behavior that repeatedly causes to good stuff or the suffering our life.
When we have a healthy ego it’s easier to move through life with a wide-open heart, healthy boundaries and a solid sense of self.
A healthy ego is essential for happiness, fulfillment, and resilience.
Make a conscious choice.
The point is that when you strip away the fear, the stories, and the judgments away from what’s happening in this moment, and simply notice it, you become free to choose your response.
That’s all! Create awareness, gain perspective and make a choice.
Using the Positive Healthy Ego to Set You Free.
We can all use some tools to get your ego working for you:
- Notice the negative ego. Awareness is key and certainly half the battle. Sneak up on your negative ego spinning tales around and look at what’s really happening.
- Focus on the truth. Ask yourself, “What if I let go of judgement? Is there a right/wrong? Does it have to be good/bad?”
- Use your positive ego on your negative ego. In the book “Loving What Is” Byron Katie suggests we ask “Can I absolutely know it is true?” For the most part we can not.
- Change takes courage. We can face reality with a positive ego and tell a new story that is different. Ultimately, it means living in a state of love — a lot more of the time.
A Truer Path to Self Acceptance
“The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.” ― Steven Pressfield
I believe that experiences like this are like mini “resurrections”; being scared to death give us opportunities to wake up to our own imperfections in our humanity and offers the preciousness of each choice. This realization let us recover with new awareness into a stream of events that make up our –always changing life full of rebirths and deaths. And in seeing this universal state of the human condition, we can develop compassion for ourselves and for others.
Now I can use this lesson as a new-found super power.
So the keys to a fancy sports car with in yourself, and can show you how to significantly enhance your overall life experience.
This is also helps learn new things, bring more things abundantly into our world, and…
… you can learn how to be scared well.
… this is why, I believe, we all deserve to live a juicy life…
Fortunately, our worldview can change and that is what working with the Bright Line Eating Bootcamp creates for food addicts. The purpose of life being to come as close as possible to the realization of the divinity within us.
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As you likely know, I participate in Bright Line Eating because I wholeheartedly believe this training will help you achieve a successful body you love. However, if her program does not feel right for you, I completely understand!
Do you wonder if you are a food addict? Check out this quiz.